blog 15

     The first “great time” that came to mind was when I went on my Emanon Retreat to Big Bear last March. It was probably the first time I had gone somewhere far without my mom driving. In the car were Earl, Ace, Anthony, Renee, Moira, and Edward driving. I remember sleeping through most of the drive and I was scared going up the turns of the mountain so I closed my eyes and eventually fell asleep again. The purposes of the Emanon Retreat were to bond with our team and initiate the new members. This was one significant because usually the new members begin initiation at our coach’s house, dancing our routine blinded folded outside the window of Denny’s, followed by running into the ocean and staying there for a few minutes. This year our coach wanted to try something new. He rented a cabin and a majority of the team went. We shared beds and some people even slept on the floor. We all had to take turns cooking or cleaning. On our first night there we got to relax since a lot of us arrived late. Most of us stayed up until around 5 a.m. I guess you can say that we kind of went crazy. None of our parents were there and we were having fun. For initiation we blind folded the new members and made them do silly things in the house, next we set them in the Jacuzzi for a few minutes and they each were covered with flower and the tradition silly string when removing their blindfolds. The next two days we hung out and played games around the house. On our last day, we decided to go to the snow but we all got kicked off because we didn’t have correct gear. It was actually kind of funny because the man watched us leave and stared at us in the parking lot. We thought he thought we were plotting something, but we were simply waiting to figure where we wanted to eat. 

Opinion on FFN

When I read the first pages of the book, I did not know what to expect. However, it has me open my eyes toward a different view of fast food and the world behind it. I don’t know if I will make any changes. I’ve recently began to stop eating red meat, again (I became a pescatarian my junior year of high school), because of the book. It has really made me think of all the dangers in a slaughter house. How ill the workers are treated, especially the cleaning crews. It digusts me how the people will go to almost any length to earn money.

Blog Entry Week 11

Identifying my truth: Number…3: I enjoy rapping about things happening. When I am doing something, I enjoy rapping and rhyming about what I’m doing or things going on around me. Although I was never a gymnast, I was in competitive All-Star cheerleading. I did get nominated for Homecoming Princess my sophomore year of high school, but I ended up going to a different high school’s homecoming anyways. I have never been to the Philippines, although I do want to go. And I believe that I am a mediocre singer, I get way too shy to sing seriously in front of people.

School right now for me is going quite well. I actually have a chapter test for calculus tomorrow and a psychology midterm on Thursday, both which I still need to keep studying for. I took a break from studying by writing my blog post. I actually like that my classes are so close together, time-wise, because it leaves me free in the afternoon. The main thing that bugs me about school is that my calculus teacher has been showing up fifteen minutes late the past few days, and just about when the class is ready to get up to leave she walks in the door. The most challenging class for me would have to be my psychology class. There is quite a noticeable amount more work that I’ve been doing this semester, but in the end I know it will pay off. All the extra study time, cancelling to go out so that I can study, and talking to people whom can help me and I can help them is great for me. When I study with someone, I don’t want them to feel like all I do is take in their information, I want to be able to contribute to them as well!

Five lies & a Truth

1. I am a gymnast.
2. I won Homecoming Princess in high school.
3. I enjoy rapping about things happening.
4. I am from the Philippines.
5. I am a pretty good singer.

Blog week 9

This is my favorite picture of my boyfriend and I. Although it's not the "cutest" one, it's my favorite because it's the first time that we got to hang out one on one. I guess this is the day that broke the ice for us. Usually, I am an outspoken extrovert but when it comes to me liking a guy I become really shy. My boyfriend, Nicholas, is usually and introvert and really shy. So when he asked if I wanted to hang out after church, I was surprised. This day was the first time we hung out alone because we hung around the same friends, so it was usual to see each other around. The drive was sort of awkward and quiet. We drove to The Cross in Ventura and decided to have a mini photo shoot. This is when he started to become livelier. We were laughed, took turns taking photos of each other, and had a lot of fun. I wore jeans and a hooded jacket, yet he still told me I looked beautiful. From that day until now, we’ve grown closer together and I hope that we continue growing together.

Family

Throughout my life there have been people in and out of my “family,” but it all leads up to where we are today. Today, my family consists of my mother, her boyfriend, and my brother. But it wasn’t always this way. Ever since I was little people have come and gone.

It starts with my father. My mother and he got married a few days before I was born. They separated around the time I was in kindergarten. I would visit him at his new girlfriend’s house on and off until I was about twelve. The visits seemed to get further apart, starting off every other weekend and ending up to about once a month. I eventually began to not care whether I got to see him or not. I loved being with my mom. I eventually told her that I didn’t want to go visit anymore and she respected my decision. I am still close to his side of the family and they understand that I do not want to be around him as well.

Around the age of thirteen, my mom had begun dating someone new. This was a major change because I was always an only child; however, I liked to share and play with other kids, but he had three kids. This was a really drastic change for me; I had gone from just my mom and me, to having three siblings. My room had been revamped from having my single bed and two TV’s, to two sets of bunk beds and that’s about all that fit. For awhile, I enjoyed the fact that I had people to hang out with whenever and also to help me clean. But this is when I started doing chores more routinely. I used to help my mom whenever she asked, but now with four other people in the house, I had to help way more. I grew tired of not having my own privacy and started to develop more of an attitude. My mom and this boyfriend were together for a few years before breaking it off.

Towards the end of my eighth grade year, my mom started dating her current boyfriend whom I get along with great. My mom and him have been dating ever since. At first, I was a bit skeptical of him but we eventually got along really well. When I would see the way he could make my mom laugh, it made me really happy that she finally was genuinely happy. Although they both have strong personalities, they challenge each other often, which I think is good for a healthy relationship. Almost a year ago we were blessed with my little brother. He has brought us much closer and I love them all to death.

Although, “family” was often an obscure word, I think I have finally found the balance and realize my true family. I can’t wait to start my own family some day!

Essay #1

It Wasn’t the Right Time

     Growing up it’s always been my mom and me. My dad left at a young age, so she’s always been the one I was dependent on. Although we butt heads, in the end she will always be my best friend. I never really realized how much she did for me and meant to me until she got pregnant with my brother. That’s when everything changed.

     My mom had been dating Gerry for a little over three years and his family always asked when an engagement or baby would be coming. In March, my mom found out she was pregnant. I was truly happy to hear that I would be getting a younger sibling because I always wanted one. I also liked Gerry enough that I wouldn’t mind him being around all the time. During the pregnancy, Gerry was usually at work but when he was home he’d help out my mom as much as he could.

A few months after my mom became pregnant, she noticed that she became tired easily and ran out of breath quickly. Her doctor had diagnosed her with cardiomyopathy, which I later found out that it could lead to a sudden cardiac arrest because of the irregular heartbeat. The doctor said it could be because of the pregnancy because her body needed to work to provide for the baby as well as my mother. As the months went by, I noticed how much weaker she seemed. But every time we went to see the ultrasounds of the baby, I could see how happy she was to see the baby on the screen. Yet I still couldn’t handle seeing my mom so weak because she has always been the strongest woman I know. She always has been independent and can stand her own ground. So to see her weak like this was so strange to me.

The day came in mid-October. I was in my second period class when I received a text that my brother, Christian Jayden, was born. I started crying in class because I was so happy. I had to go to the hospital the next day because the doctors needed to run some tests on my mom and the baby. My aunt picked me up to take me to the hospital. The drive seemed like it took forever because I was so excited. So many questions were running through my head; I wondered if he would like me, what he looked like, if he cried a lot, and many other questions. When we finally got to hospital, I wanted to run up down the hallway out of the elevator to see my mom. My mom was connected to an oxygen machine and my brother was in an incubator type thing to take away the yellow in his skin. I couldn’t help but stare at both of them. The baby seemed so frail and my mom looked so pale and drained. I was then reminded that my mom was still sick.

I had gone home and my mom had to stay at the hospital for two weeks because she was still sick but the baby got to go home to his grandmother’s house. Gerry stayed with her until late at night every night after work. I had found out that my mom had to stay in the hospital longer while I was in ASB class. In that class I sit in a podium overlooking the whole class and as I read the text message, I began sobbing. There was nothing I could do about it because I knew she needed to stay there to get better. Her boyfriend had picked me up one night so I could see her. I began to cry when my mom and I were alone and she asked, “Why are you crying?” with a slight smile and laugh. I told her,” Because you don’t look like yourself. You look so helpless,” I said as I stared at all the machines connected to her. She needed help doing things that she never would have needed help with before, simple things like going to the bathroom, even. The nurse walked in and my mom explained why I was crying and the nurse began to reassure me that my mom would be fine; she just needed to rest because her body was exhausted.

This was the longest time in my seventeen years of life that I had been away from my mom. And I never really knew that it would affect me so much not having her around. While she was in the hospital, I tried to go out as much as possible to keep myself busy. But there were nights were I’d sit alone in my house restless because I was scared of losing her. When she eventually came home, I tried doing anything I could to help her. It didn’t take long once she was home for her to seem her normal self again. Now she has to take a few more pills than usual to help regulate her heartbeat, blood pressure, etc. Looking back, I still get emotional because that was the lowest point that I have ever seen my mother. She seemed so vulnerable and it helps me see that I need to treat her with much better respect. Every day, I remind myself that I need to do the best I can to help her out and show her how much she means to me because tomorrow is not always promised. This was a significant event for me because it helped me realize that someone you love and hold so dearly could be gone within an instant and before that happens, you should always make them feel important.